Helping Your Child Work Through Challenges

No matter what you do to ensure that your child has the best of everything, he will have challenges and make mistakes. During these challenging times, you can help him through these times and help him develop the confidence to face and handle challenges as he gets older and more independent. When children learn how to handle challenges and let downs, they gain self-respect and confidence. They learn how to solve problems and know they can shape what happens to them. You have read several tips in the Spring Issue of Positively about helping to build confidence in your child and as promised here are more.

When Challenges Arise

Assume the best of him not the worst.

Encourage him to talk about it and ask if he is ready to talk.

During the discussion, do not rush him; give him enough time to think and to respond.

Ensure him that the conversation between the two of you is confidential and get his permission to discuss anything he shares with you with anyone, either to get advice or help to solve the problem.

If it is difficult for him to talk, participate in his favorite activity such as his favorite sport. He will help him relax, he will appreciate that you are interested in something he is interested in, and begin talking. Or, wait until a more relaxed time, after bath time, before bedtime or let him stay up another half hour if he will talk about his day with you.

If he is in trouble help him to maintain and gain self respect by guiding him to correct and recover from mistakes without criticism or insulting. Do not put him down or blame him for getting in trouble. Blaming or shaming will strip him of self-respect and confidence in his ability to make decisions.

Discuss possible strategies to challenging situations. Give him several options to correct his mistake or handle the problem. Give him assertive things to say and practice saying them in his own words. Confidence grows from being given opportunities and responsibilities and carrying them out successfully.

Let him have autonomy to overcome challenges and over other things in his life, considering his age.

Listen. He may not want you to solve his problem. He may just want to vent and have someone listen to him without interruption. Know when to keep your opinion to yourself.

When a child is given support and guidance he does well in school, develops responsible friendships and develops the confidence make decisions about how to handle challenges.